


When being is just enough

by pixiedurango



Series: Richard Armitage - Sensual Visual Prompts [14]
Category: John Proctor - Fandom, Richard Armitage - Fandom, The Crucible - Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Forbidden Love, Secret Relationship, desperate love, modern!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 22:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17212424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiedurango/pseuds/pixiedurango
Summary: Dr. John Proctor knows he should stay away from his mentee Esther but it's the single thing he can't do. Risking hers and his career, an entire life for a love that is not supposed to be.





	When being is just enough

**Author's Note:**

> This belongs to a collection of prompts I opened up for my followers on tumblr to choose a character portrayed by Richard Armitage and a collection of sensual/sexy gifs I put together merely for this purpose.  
> After the tumblr purge many of the stories got banned/deleted/hidden which I assume due to the nature of the gifs since the stories itself are rarely really explicit.  
> This is why I eventually decided to transfer my works to my Ao3 which I didn't do for the sheer number of Fandoms/Shows/Characters those stories belong to. My admiration for Richard Armitage let me write all those stories and I hope people will like it.  
> The gifs will be posted along with the stories so readers might decide whether I caught the spirit or not.

 

“What are you doing here, John?” Was always her first question when he showed up at her door sill again. Shooting sharp desperate glances, would she pull him into her tiny hallway anyway, because he could not be seen in the clinic’s personnel dorm at any cost. Gossip was already running wild and there was no reason to pour oil into the fire. “You can’t keep coming here. We have to stop that. It will cost us both our careers.”  
The words might vary but it was the same thing she would address every time during the first moments after he had entered her space again. 

“I know, Esther, I  _know_.” He would always reply with that husky voice, trying to soothe her but actually bursting from guilt and desperation while they already were drowning into each other’s kiss. “I just couldn’t stay away. It’s the last time. I swear! Let me stay, only this last time.”   
As if she ever could send him away…

Of course they both knew what was at stake. Having an affair was bad enough, but having an affair basically under the eyes of his wife. The wife who basically owned the clinic they were all working in was a whole different story. And that Esther was John Proctor’s mentee, only here thanks to a scholarship made it even more despicable. And dangerous. 

But still, he couldn’t simply put an end to it. Just leave her be and return to his former life: Peace- and uneventful.   
John sometimes felt he had fallen under some kind of spell but of course he knew it was a silly thing to believe. He was a scientist, a physician… Well trained and rational. Not one of those hokus-pokus new age doctors who believed in basically everything. He could hold lectures on the power of pheromones and how they were the exact opposite of any kind of magic. 

Moments like those in her dark hallway though made him doubt in mere science because it  _felt_  like magic.

Here in this tiniest of corridors with its three shabby doors. One back into the stair case, out of here. The way he always hated to take and tried to avoid as long as possible. One into the bathroom and one into her living-room with just enough space for the basic necessities: A bed barely big enough for two, a rugged love seat from the thrift shop accompanied by a vintage coffee table. Her books in a second-hand IKEA rack next to her makeshift desk under the window. This was it. Her belongings. Her life.

This was how she lived in the clinic’s dorm in a single’s apartment which was part of her scholarship. No comparison to where and how he lived with Elisabeth. But in moments like this he was almost ready to leave everything behind to just  _be_. Be with Esther. Standing in the dim light of her corridor, not yet arrived but already half spent in his urge to be with her. All over her.  _In_  her.

This was how it always went. When they arrived in the actual room to fall onto the bed usually most of their clothes were already gone.   
A few times they hadn’t even made it into the room but have ended up with him pressing her against the wall her legs tightly wrapped around him, fingers pressing into his shoulders for balance while he wildly took her as he stood. Breathlessly crashing into her, pounding and pumping until he came in a hoarse groan almost feeling guilty for not taking the time looking after her pleasure first.  

She never complained. Even when sometimes his time was only so short that they barely had time to actually talk to each other, after having wordless, desperate sex. He had never seen her cry over him leaving soon after he arrived. Never heard her saying a bitter word. Not about him or Elisabeth. Even though his wife treated her like shit when ever she could which was not hard for her being the clinic’s principal consultant.

Today they made it to the bed and he was able to tame his guilt of neglecting the woman he truly loved way too often by endless and selfless caresses.   
Seeing her become a whimpering bundle of pure lust and pleasure under his hands and lips and tongue was like paying her back for all the times he couldn’t or wouldn’t take the time.   
Seeing her come undone under his knowing touches was just everything in this moment. And when she pulled him up onto her while she still tried to catch back her breath he felt he did not deserve a woman as passionate and loving as she was.

_Making love_  was not the term how he usually would describe his way of sleeping with a woman, tonight he felt it applied in all its cheesy ways and he idly smiled against her skin as they still were lying on her bed, wrapped into each other none of them willing to move.

“Shall we take a bath, John?” She finally murmured. “I feel I might get sore otherwise. Or are you already leaving again?”

Dr. John Proctor grinned when he nodded his agreement. He was ridiculously happy that he could stay so much longer tonight. Probably sleep over, since Elisabeth had left for a weekend symposium earlier today. He was almost giddy to tell her the good news. “Sounds like a wise treatment.” He teased with an surprisingly soft voice and he dragged himself away from her to go and prepare the bath for them both. “I might stay for the night if you want me around?” He casually asked when he was already half out of the room. And seeing her face brighten up in return was worth  _everything_.

The old fashioned bath tub actually was the only luxury her little place had to offer and usually they used it to have a quick mutual shower before he had to run. Today they could afford to do all the things they usually couldn’t. Taking a bath, order delivery food, watch a movie together. Or - which was more likely to happen - have several more rounds of sex over and over again until they would fall asleep in the sweetest form of exhaustion.

Time. Time was what they would never have enough of. There would always be an end and a limit to their encounters and there was nothing they could ever change about it. But tonight, together in her old bathtub, feeling the warm water around them like a liquid blanket and each other’s skin warm and soft as she rested, back to chest, against him. No need for words right now as  _being_  was just enough. 


End file.
